Dear Cael, If Mommy Had Money

Dear Cael,
If I had money, I'd buy you a house. You could have your own room, with your own colors in it and a big boy bed. We could even get an extra bedroom for a brother or sister. You could have your own bathroom, and make it as messy as you want (until I tell you to clean up, of course).

Our new house would have a big backyard. Big enough for a swingset with a slide, a tunnel, swings, and some monkey bars. And a tree house. And a shed for all of your outside toys :)

Our new house would have a long and wide driveway. With a basketball hoop so you can invite friends over to play basketball, like Daddy and Uncle Andrew used to do when they were younger. Our garage would be big enough for Mommy and Daddy's cars.

Our neighborhood would be wonderful, with neighbors who think smoking is disgusting and many kids around your age that you can be best friends with and play with. We would have block parties and barbeques with the neighbors. There would be no obnoxious neighbors and no late night parties. There would be no mean dogs and no cats (I just don't like cats because they make me sneeze).

This new house would have a big kitchen, big enough for a kitchen table so we can all eat dinner together. I would have a great oven to bake you, Daddy, and your friends cookies. We would have a big living room, with a big screen TV to watch movies together and play games together.

The house would have a basement, so I can have a daycare to make money and do what I love. I love watching you grow up and I want to help families that need a place for their child to go while the parents are at work. It would be a big basement, with a place for me to cook and a place for the babies to lay down to sleep.

Our new house would also have a big deck for hanging out when Grandma Diane, Papa Shane, and Aunt Ni Ni come visit. We can use the deck for sitting out to watch the stars on cool, clear nights. We can have mini camp outs while you're still okay to hang out with Mommy and Daddy.

Above all, our house will be a home. It will be the place where we can either be with each other or be on our own for a bit. It will be a place of our own, no paying rent every month, just paying for what we need. We will stay there for the rest of our lives.

If only Mommy had the money...

One Week Thoughts

Oh my God, Cael is already a week old... They grow up so fast! *sniffle sniffle*

I haven't looked to see what "milestones" he's supposed to have hit by now but you know what, I don't care if he's made them or not. He can do whatever he wants in his own time. Here's what he can do so far:

• Hold his head up for small periods of time
• Stare at Brad and me like we're stupid
• Smile almost voluntarily
• Pee all over himself instead of Mommy and Daddy during diaper changes (he's done this three times now)
• Flip Mommy and Daddy the bird while feeding

All of these he does with ease lol

As I'm typing, Cael is laying on my chest, just snoring away. Speaking of snoring, he only really does it during the day. At night Brad and I have to hold our breaths just to listen to him breathe. He's only scared us a couple of times though and we had to actually get up and put a hand on him to check (okay, I did this, not Brad).

Cael's little grunts and squeaks keep us thoroughly entertained. He makes the greatest faces too. He has his "thinker face" which usually means he is filling his diaper, his "surprised face" when I'm up really close to his face, and his "mad face." Brad and I wouldn't trade any moments we;ve had with him so far.

I can't wait until he grows up but then again, I don't want him to grow up. I want to be the person he relies on for all eternity. If he grows up, he'll be more and more independent and won't need Mommy... I hope this doesn't make me act over-protective as he matures. I would hate to be a controlling mom.

"I was born to tell you I love you." - Your Call by Secondhand Serenade (the song that came on Windows Media Player just now)

And I think this is true. I feel like I was born for this moment, for motherhood. I'm not saying I want billions of kids. I'm saying I feel that being primarily a mother is what I'm being called to do. And that's not meaning that I'm going ot drop out of school and become a full-time house mom, although being a house mom probably wouldn't bother me all that much. More time with my children and more time to get house things done. But that's something to think about in the future. I don't want to waste my college education or anything. Maybe I'd run a home daycare service or something.

Cael and Brad will always come first in my life. I wouldn't have it any other way!

Hello All, New Blogger Here

Hi there, my name is Shelby and, as you might be able to tell from the title of my blog, I'm going to be a mommy. My baby boy, Cael Luther, is scheduled to arrive in March and I'm really freaking out about everything from baby clothes to the actually delivery. I have also recently moved into an apartment with my boyfriend Brad, who is Cael's dad.

Life in the apartment is SUPER stressful. First of all, the previous tenant did not take care of this living space so there is mold...and rust...and there are stains on the carpet... But that's not the biggest problem. You guessed it, we have cockroaches. GIANT ones. The ones that have built up an immunity to pretty much everything we throw at them (other than bug bombs because of the chemicals). The peeling paint, stains, smells, and small space I can deal with but when one of these critters crawls out of the wall or onto the floor, I blow a gasket. I'm a pretty high-strung person as it is and this on top of pregnancy is more than I can bear...

Oh did I also mention I'm only 18 and still attending college? That piles on quite a lot of stress as well. I'm currently a freshman at Truman State University and I begin my second semester on January 11th. Not only do I now have to pay for this apartment, the food that goes in it, and any "entertainment" fees we have, but books and any lab fees as well. NOT fun...

Having Brad here with me in my last trimester has helped so much. He is my rock. He is my support. He has loved me even though I've been moody and mean a lot. He means as much to me as our son. Brad is my life and my love.

We've known each other for about a year and a half. We met through my best friend Miranda, who had been dating him at the time. Their relationship turned rocky and, though they didn't know it at the time, they had both turned to me for help. No, I did not attempt to sabotage their relationship. I was with a good boyfriend at the time their troubles started and I had worked my way through two more by the time they broke up. When Brad started talking to me again (after a nasty breakup with Miranda), it was to help me this time. Brandon had dumped me saying I was "too clingy" (though he was actually the one who proposed after 3 days of dating, texted me every second of every day, and got mad at me for not answering every single text, but whatever) and I had reverted to my "old ways," which is what I'll call it until somebody wants to know. He stopped me and told me that I was appreciated and loved, even if it wasn't from someone I expected. Our relationship and trust grew after that and, after about two weeks of talking, he asked me out. I had doubts about our relationship though. You see, he lived 3 hours away. I didn't think we would last. Boy, was I wrong. (almost) 13 months later, we are still together and having a baby. I love that he has stayed with me. I would NEVER dream of hurting him intentionally in any way. He has always been there for me, and I will gie him the same courtesy.

Well I hope to write a new blog installment every few days so for all those who are interested in reading my posts, thanks for reading. I really do appreciate it. Comment too, if you feel so inclined.

Thanks again. Until next time, live life as best as you can.