On the view of my summer classes (that I did NOT take because I was promised more hours), I could be closer to finishing my degree if I would've known she was not giving me more hours to work. One of the teachers in our room had to leave the job (hopefully just temporarily) since her spouse is having health problems and she needs to be with him. Instead of just moving the closing teacher (me) to full-time for the summer, my employer takes a new teacher into the classroom. I honestly have no problems with my coworkers and I am grateful that the new teacher has a superb source of unlimited energy, but I kind of new the hours. I'm hoping that if I can get more hours during the summer, I can start helping Brad's mom out with the bills she is currently paying because we are financially unable to take care of (cable, health insurance, car insurance, phone, etc.) and still have some savings to put away. Currently, my bi-weekly paycheck is delegated as follows:
45% --> Daycare costs
25% --> Saved in case of emergency (helping with rent, doctor visits, car maintenence, etc.)
20% --> Gas
10% --> A month's worth of diapers
That leaves me with nothing left to save toward the wedding. Will Brad and I get a wedding? Sure. It will have to be scaled back like crazy, and we may have to ask the wedding party to pay for their own attires, shoes, tux rentals, flowers, etc. but we'll have one. Thank God I got the dress already... And I absolutely refuse to ask for money from family, because they have enough to pay for, both to support themselves and for us. I do not want to add onto their payments.
Someday, I will be married, own a house, then own my own daycare service. I want to be self-employed doing what I want to do. Then I won't have to worry about competing for hours with my coworkers.
Thank God I love the kids I help teach and my teaching coworkers. Otherwise, I might look for a new job in education... Those kids make my job enjoyable (even if they are crazy and bouncing off the walls). The teacher in the two's room is also awesome. I can talk to her about almost anything and she's either had experience with it and can give advice or she just listens when no one else will. She's a great teacher too. She also has amazing energy, is great with the kids, and has all sorts of great activities up her sleeves. I hope to be as good a teacher as her someday :)
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On another note, my birthday is in 8 days...and I don't really care. It's not like it's a "milestone" birthday, just 20. I'm kind of hoping I can just get the one thing I want (a Nook Color from Barnes and Noble) and that's the end of it. I don't want a birthday cake, especially not one with 20 candles on it. I don't want to be reminded that everything and everyone is getting older and time is passing on. Plus, there are a lot of things in my life I'd like to forget. Each candle represents a memory, be it one I want to remember or one I want to forget.
I am very thankful that I have Brad and Cael with me. I can't imagine life without them. It would be like not breathing. Some days, I might say I want away from them, that I want a break. But it's not true. I love just being in the same room as them. It doesn't matter if we're actively doing something together, or off in separate corners of the house doing our own things. I love being around them. I love watching them, talking to them. I love Brad and Cael <3
Hopefully the next time I post, it won't be as grim and grouchy as this post... *fingers crossed*
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