Hating Yesterday, Loving Today, Wondering For Tomorrow

Yesterday SUCKED. No other word for it. Got in an argument with Brad, Cael has a sinus infection, felt paranoid and cruddy because I forgot my medicine, ended up not taking a walk (which threw off Cael's schedule so he cried for an hour before falling asleep)... Thank God it ended quickly!
Today was AWESOME. :)

I'll outline it for you lol

MY DAY

Got out of bed to a little boy who was SUPER happy to see me.

I got a kiss good-bye when Brad left for work.

When I took Cael to school, I found out he was being moved to the tots class today.

I got to take an awesome shower.

I got to shave without a screaming child banging on the bathroom door.

A Law & Order: SVU marathon was going on while I folded laundry.

I had enough money to pay bills and pay off my daycare balance.

I had an amazing tasty lunch: a Boca burger, peaches, and a Slim Fast chocolate shake.

I got to see Brad at lunch time.

When I got to work, I found out I would be letting a teacher in the infants' room go on break.

I got to hold and feed a baby.

I was smiled at by a baby.

I was spit up on by a very cute baby.

I wasn't mauled by the two year olds.

I got many kisses and hugs from "my girls" in the twos room.

Cael didn't cry when he saw me and I was holding other children.

I had a great dinner: Tyson chicken nuggets, McDonalds Sweet Tea, and more peaches (I like peaches)

I went on an amazing walk with a good friend and my good little boy.

I shared a popsicle with Cael.

Now I'm blogging :)

Soon Brad will play Paper Mario or Assasin's Creed 2 (I hope it's the latter!) for me to watch.

And it's not even my birthday yet!

I'm so grateful for everything I have and everything that has happened to me today :) I love my boys, Brad and Cael <3 I am complete today! I look forward to tomorrow!

:D

New Developments In A Current Job Are Hardly Ever Good...

I found out from my employer today that, though she promised me more hours in the summer, she is giving the hours to a coworker that normally works in the infant room... This is making me very unhappy, not just because she promised me the hours, but also because she is now expecting me to pay the balance for Cael's tuition weekly, when she knows I get paid bi-weekly and because I decided not to take summer classes because I was promised more hours. I can't pay the daycare when I have no money and I'm running out of savings quickly and will soon have no money for a wedding either. Money SUCKS.

On the view of my summer classes (that I did NOT take because I was promised more hours), I could be closer to finishing my degree if I would've known she was not giving me more hours to work. One of the teachers in our room had to leave the job (hopefully just temporarily) since her spouse is having health problems and she needs to be with him. Instead of just moving the closing teacher (me) to full-time for the summer, my employer takes a new teacher into the classroom. I honestly have no problems with my coworkers and I am grateful that the new teacher has a superb source of unlimited energy, but I kind of new the hours. I'm hoping that if I can get more hours during the summer, I can start helping Brad's mom out with the bills she is currently paying because we are financially unable to take care of (cable, health insurance, car insurance, phone, etc.) and still have some savings to put away. Currently, my bi-weekly paycheck is delegated as follows:

45% --> Daycare costs
25% --> Saved in case of emergency (helping with rent, doctor visits, car maintenence, etc.)
20% --> Gas
10% --> A month's worth of diapers

That leaves me with nothing left to save toward the wedding. Will Brad and I get a wedding? Sure. It will have to be scaled back like crazy, and we may have to ask the wedding party to pay for their own attires, shoes, tux rentals, flowers, etc. but we'll have one. Thank God I got the dress already... And I absolutely refuse to ask for money from family, because they have enough to pay for, both to support themselves and for us. I do not want to add onto their payments.

Someday, I will be married, own a house, then own my own daycare service. I want to be self-employed doing what I want to do. Then I won't have to worry about competing for hours with my coworkers.

Thank God I love the kids I help teach and my teaching coworkers. Otherwise, I might look for a new job in education... Those kids make my job enjoyable (even if they are crazy and bouncing off the walls). The teacher in the two's room is also awesome. I can talk to her about almost anything and she's either had experience with it and can give advice or she just listens when no one else will. She's a great teacher too. She also has amazing energy, is great with the kids, and has all sorts of great activities up her sleeves. I hope to be as good a teacher as her someday :)

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On another note, my birthday is in 8 days...and I don't really care. It's not like it's a "milestone" birthday, just 20. I'm kind of hoping I can just get the one thing I want (a Nook Color from Barnes and Noble) and that's the end of it. I don't want a birthday cake, especially not one with 20 candles on it. I don't want to be reminded that everything and everyone is getting older and time is passing on. Plus, there are a lot of things in my life I'd like to forget. Each candle represents a memory, be it one I want to remember or one I want to forget.

I am very thankful that I have Brad and Cael with me. I can't imagine life without them. It would be like not breathing. Some days, I might say I want away from them, that I want a break. But it's not true. I love just being in the same room as them. It doesn't matter if we're actively doing something together, or off in separate corners of the house doing our own things. I love being around them. I love watching them, talking to them. I love Brad and Cael <3

Hopefully the next time I post, it won't be as grim and grouchy as this post... *fingers crossed*

Pooey... He's Too Big For Mama Now

Cael is one. I still can't believe it! His birthday parties were a hit. On the day of his birthday, we had a party at Russ and Judy's house. Lots of family came over and Cael got some really cool toys :) These included a turtle sandbox, a spring door stop mounted on a block of wood (from Papa Russ, since Cael like to play with the door stop in the bathroom at their house), a glittery ball, some clothes, and a magnet toy for the fridge. He wasn't greatly excited by these since it was past afternoon nap time.

The special cake for Cael (made with rice flour and soymilk)

Dinosaur sandwiches!

The dye stayed on him for four days lol

Playing with cousin Karley. He loves her hair

The Kirksville party was good too. He made out like a bandit there! Tons of balls, lots of interactive toys, a walker that converts into a car, and a cute outfit for summer.

On Saturday, we got his one year pictures taken at the Wal Mart portrait studio and Cael absolutely refused to smile. Then when got a few with his hands in his mouth when he was smiling. We got some cute ones though!

Cael has another ear infection as well, which makes 4 in less than 6 months. He had a fever of 102 for two days and ended up having a mild febrile seizure (spastic muscle movement when your temperature is too high). The stupid thing was this all started 8 hours AFTER we had seen the doctor for a swollen lymph node. Ridiculous how fast these things crop up. He's doing better now though and is at school today :)

Daycare has been going pretty well too. We have a few new friends now and we're attempting to work on pottying in the big kid potty with two of our three year olds (they can't move into the three's class until they can use the potty). I have resorted to bribing them with candy and stickers, the two most popular items in our class. So far, one child is taking well to it, even though he usually has a bowel movement before we get to the potty (he wears Pull-Ups). There are a ton of sweet kids in my room and I was extremely sad when one of ours graduated to the three's room. He and I were buddies.

Cael is determined to prove that he's growing up too. He won't let me kiss on him as much as I used to. He doesn't want to play with me, only by himself and with his toys. He cruises everywhere (but still isn't walking, grrrr). He points to what he wants and screams bloody murder when he doesn't get it. He also attempted to throw away a brochure I got from the WIC office about weaning your baby from the bottle (he's getting smarter). He responds when I ask him questions too, even though it may not actually be what he wants (for example, I asked him if he wanted to get dressed this morning and he nodded his head. When I went to change him, he screamed "no no no" at me). When he smiles now, he wrinkles up his nose. He also makes a fishy face all the time which is pretty funny. He's learning new sounds and has "almost" words. I just can't believe the progress he's made, from birth to now. It's incredible, but hard because I know the more he grows, the more independent he'll be...