Why Yes, It Is Almost 3 AM

Well guess who can't sleep...again... This is killing me and my school work and my job...

Speaking of my job, I'm leaving it. And going to work at Dollar General. Awesome, right? I can't do this commute on random days anymore. I go to Sedalia for school and that's it. I like this arrangement better.

So have you ever had those feelings of absolute hopelessness because of your situation? Yeah, I'm there.

DFS has told me we have no need for child care aid. Apparently we have no need for food stamps either. That is BULL SH*T, if you'll pardon my language. Brad and I don't make enough to pay bills AND pay rent AND buy groceries AND pay for day care AND pay for gas. Freaking awesome. I have to take $150 out of my paycheck that comes every two weeks to pay for day care and that leaves me with enough to... hmm... pay HALF of the water bill. Awesome. Just freaking great. (If you can't tell, I'm kind of mad)

I'm tired. I"m mad. I want to throw something, break things, shout, scream until someone understands.

I.

Can't.

Do.

This.

All.

I need a break. I need a super long awesome vacation where I don't have to have contact with the world at all if I don't want it (which I don't right now but I know I'll have to be around them today). I want "me" time. I don't even get "me" time in the shower. I always have to rush out to take care of Cael or get ready for work or school. I shaved my legs for the first time in a month on Thursday. I haven't done anything with my hair besides put it up for 6 months. I want to be able to do what I want, when I want for just one stinking day. Is that too much to ask for?

Apparently it is because I have homework, work, classes, dirty laundry, dirty dishes, a dirty house, a teething baby with a cold, and a relationship to upkeep 24/7. I'm going to make it like 48/7. That's how this is going to work. I'll make more hours in the day. My body is already doing it for me. It's cutting out that waste of time known as sleep. Thank you body. You're helping out soooooooo much.

Screw this, I have an outline to finish, a test to make up (which I haven't studied for thanks to the list of things I have to do), and three chapters to read in two classes. Oh, and a test I need to study for that's on Thursday.

Life makes me want to cry. How did I get all of this piled up on top of me? I'm suffocating from it, that's for sure...

Let Me Tell You How Long It Has Been

It's been so long since I last posted that Blogger forgot me. It's been so long that my followers are starting to hint that I need to post. It's been so long that I could probably post a HUGE mess tonight and still have more to say.

Yeah, it's been a while.

So let me tell you, having a teething baby stinks, especially when said baby had just started sleeping through the night. Cael now has two teeth (which I will get pictures of as soon as I get a camera) and they are causing all sorts of things. Fussiness, sleeplessness, super mega drooling, and a runny nose are the worst. He hasn't had the infamous diaper rash that I've been told about, and I am VERY grateful for it.

Solids are really big too! He finished off an entire four ounce jar of bananas today, in one sitting! He hates sweet potatoes and squash but had now taken a new liking to peas (which he originally didn't like). I'm hoping we can bring him around to like sweet potatoes eventually. If he doesn't like them when he's older, I may cry :(

Work has been... work, to say the least. Recently I had worn out my only pair of dress shoes so when I wore tennis shoes to work, my supervisor said that was a no-no and next time I would be sent home. When I told her that I didn't have the money to buy any new shoes (which I don't thanks to bills, rent, groceries, and day care), she talked to the store manager who said I had to procure shoes to fit the dress code the next time we got our paycheck. However I knew that this was code for "Get them now" so on my break I purchased shoes at Payless, which was cheaper than buying the same shoes at Penneys with my discount plus the coupon we have going on. Ridiculous. And now, thanks to that, I am behind on my payments for Cael's day care and farther away from having my portion of the rent. Yay.

Cael's day care is amazing though. The director, Liz, is a very nice woman and has been very helpful when it comes to the payments. She understands that I only get paid every other week and that Brad gets paid twice a month so money is really tight.

The infant room is incredible! The teachers in there are very experienced and wonderful with the babies. They have different "stations" for the babies that they rotate after a period of time so the babies don't get bored. Diapers are checked every thirty minutes and changed as needed. Love is a number one priority, which is my favorite part. I know that leaving Cael there is the best thing for him during the day.

Classes for me have been going great, excluding the days when I was sick or too tired to drive to Sedalia. The commute is hard to do at seven in the morning when I've been up all night with a fussy baby and have to get up at 5:45 am to get myself and Cael ready for the day. I don't really have a favorite class yet because I like them all. My teachers are amazingly nice and understanding.

Well, I think I'm going to get off here. My parents and Natalie are coming to visit tomorrow! :) And I still have to clean...which I was supposed to do today but I didn't because I was lazy...

All Right, Here We Go

Okay, so I'm going to try to start the weight loss process, if I can find the time! I'm going to get into this eating right thing. Sadly, I have no time to work out :( Maybe working more at JC Penney will help me out.

So Cael had his first tooth break through the gum today! AND HE'S 6 MONTHS OLD TODAY TOO! :D I can't believe he's so big! He's growing up too fast :'( He can sit up by himself and eat veggies. He loves apple juice too.

And check out my newest video on YouTube!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wp1UD-pDqLE

Cael loves dancing!